Our thoughts control how we feel and how we perceive life. Positive thoughts encourage us to make healthy decisions, feel good about ourselves and about life in general.  Negative thoughts can play havoc with our self-esteem and trap us into losing focus on the things that matter most.

Negative thoughts, also known as automatic thoughts, can happen so fast that most of the time we fail to notice them.  These thoughts can be irrational and distorted, sending our mind on a downward spiral of destruction.

Identifying these thoughts and replacing them with more realistic thoughts can improve, self-esteem, mood, and the way we see life.

Unfortunately, we are designed to use negative information far more often than positive information.  Why is that?  Negative thinking is more powerful in our brain processing than positive thinking.  We tend to pay more attention to the negative dialogue rather than the positive. Some might say that we are programmed that way due to negative experiences and exposure to negative role modelling in childhood.  This can impact how we view the world through our lens.  Sadly, the consequences of negative thinking can be detrimental, compounding how we see life and how we feel about ourselves and those around us.

When navigating through a challenging situation, it can be helpful to pay attention to your thought process and attempt to comprehend why you think the way you do.  Some thoughts can be helpful whilst others are a hinder and serve no purpose at all.

Research has shown that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be a helpful model of therapy to assist in navigating through the negative thought process, cultivating a more precise and helpful way of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

CBT works by identifying patterns of thoughts which determine how we feel and behave:

• Something occurs for you
• You have thoughts about what has occurred
• You experience emotions based upon your thoughts
• You respond to your thoughts and feelings with certain behaviours

By applying the cognitive model, you will learn how to identify your own patterns of thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. When you tap into this process, you generate a better understanding of how the thoughts shape how you feel, and the impact they can have on your behaviour, thus impacting life situations.

Being aware of the internal dialogue and irrational thought process opens you up to better understanding the impact it has on certain situations you are confronted with.  You are then more likely to learn how to change them, minimising the negativity which can lead to chronic stress, anxiety and depression and other mental health conditions.

Creating new, more constructive behaviours and healthy dialogue generates positive thoughts leading us to feeling good about ourselves and our life choices.

 The self-critic:

Our inner voice is always switched on and although it allows us to decipher what is threatening to us and what is not, it can also be the catalyst to keep us stuck in a turmoil of avoidance.  Having a critical mind isn’t so much the problem rather it is how we respond to that critical mind that can keep us trapped.

It is not unusual for clients to tell me that sometimes they feel trapped inside their own heads, with no knowledge of how to get out.  My suggestion is to stop and

listen to what the internal dialogue is telling you and ask yourself whether the conversation is helpful or non-helpful to your situation.  If it is unhelpful, negotiate alternative information and make informed decisions about your thought process, instead of just accepting the negative talk as the only solution to a situation.

Challenge the unhelpful thinking by asking yourself questions like:

What evidence is there to support this theory?

What other ways are there of considering the situation?

What would I say to someone else if they were in my situation?

Below are some commonly used unhelpful thinking styles:

• Mental Filtering – focusing on only one part of a situation and ignoring the rest
• Catastrophising – blowing things out of proportion
• Jumping to Conclusions – mind reading and predictive thinking
• Labelling – labelling others as well as yourself when making global statements based on behaviour in certain situations
• Overgeneralising – taking an instance from past or present and imposing it on all current or future situation
• Magnification and Minimisation – magnifying the positive attributes of others and minimising your own
• Should and Must Statements – putting unreasonable demands or pressure on yourself and others
• Emotional Reasoning – basing your view of a situation or yourself on the way you feel
• Personalising – blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong
• Black and White Thinking – seeing only one extreme or the other, nothing in between

Ways to change negative thinking patterns into positive behaviours:

Say “Stop” – this is something I find helpful and often recommend to my clients.  Tap into your negative thoughts and stop them in their tracks by saying the word “stop” internally or out loud.  Putting your hand up like a stop sign can also be effective.

Journalling – start writing down your negative self-talk, where and why it happened and who it happened with.  Look at where you can make change, it can be helpful to identify any triggers so that you are better equipped to change them next time.

Positive affirmations – when we are swamped by negative self-talk, sometimes it helps if we have a list of positive affirmations on hand.  Compile some affirmations that you resonate with or even some positive feedback that you have received from other people.  This can be confidence building and improve self-esteem.

Surround yourself with positive people – you will be surprised how well this can work.  Negative people can make you feel worse than you already do about yourself and being surrounded by constant negativity can increase stress, anxiety, and cause depression.  We need to be surrounded by people that are uplifting and make us feel good about ourselves.

Practice self-compassion – I love this tip; self-criticism can make you feel stuck.  Why not embrace who you are and look at the goodness in yourself, this strengthens your character, mental health, and well-being.

Identify areas of life that need change – recognise the areas of life where you tend to be most negative and focus on how you can approach these areas in a more optimistic way.

Seek help – a negative mindset is a common occurrence amongst us, and some people may need professional help in navigating ways out of it.  If this is you, think about seeking counselling to assist you in feeling better about yourself.  Counselling can assist you to navigate through life changes, reduce emotional distress and experience self-growth.

Try focusing on your strengths rather than criticising every little thing about yourself.  We naturally tend to dwell on the negative, overlooking the positive but with practice we can all shift our way of thinking.

You can contact me here to make a booking if you would like some support with improving your mental health and wellbeing.